The birds, the bees, and the bananas

A few nights ago Ollie and I were sitting on the couch watching TV and she casually mentioned something a friend had told her that day. Her friend told her something about sex (I’m not going into specifics) that was completely wrong and misinformed. I calmly explained what her friend told her wasn’t true and I explained to her the real facts about the sex topic she was curious about. I then figured what the hell, the boys weren’t home and I might as well make sure she was informed about other sexual health topics.

We had a long discussion about consent, the importance of communication with any potential sexual partners, sexually transmitted diseases, and how to properly put a condom on a banana. #girltalk

It was a great talk and I was blown away by how calm and comfortable my girl felt about talking to me about this stuff. I’m so proud of her. We’re a sex positive house and we try to honestly answer any sexual questions our kids have.

After we talked we threw away condom wrappers we had practiced with and Ollie asked me what she should do with the poor banana we practiced on. I told her to put it back in the fruit bowl and I’d take it for breakfast the next day. She made a gagging face and put the banana up. Whatever, Mama is cheap and isn’t wasting food.

The next morning, I sent her this text while she was in school. Because I can only be a mature, responsible mother for so long before I revert to an immature 12 year old boy who just watched the Jackass movies for the first time.

I love you, Noodle. I’m so proud of you. And that banana was delicious. And still slightly lubricated.

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